All I Want for Christmas

We’re wrapping up a hot and sunny fun-filled Christmas here in Laos. It started with a gift exchange, which was especially exciting with Blake’s pop-eyed, big-mouth gasp of surprise every time someone opened a present. When I gave him a little backpack (made by tribal ladies in northern Laos), he squealed, “My backpack!” You couldn’t pay for a better reaction.
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Tony gave me a lovely Lao-style creche that looks just like the countryside homes up on stilts, complete with a hanging basket for the baby.
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You know your friends “get” you when they show up with a suitcase full of weapons for the traditional Christmas war. It sounds morbid, but growing up in a military family, we usually received some kind of Nerf gun that shot sticky darts, velcro balls, foam arrows or other harmless ammo. After the last presents were opened, our family would leap behind furniture or take cover under large sheets of wrapping paper for a major skirmish. How special to share that tradition with our wonderful visitors!
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Everyone played with their toys and lounged around for most of the morning, and then we jumped in a tuk-tuk and headed to Ban Moon. Barry, an Australian, and his Lao wife, Moon, run a little restaurant attached to their home. (“Ban Moon” means The House of Moon.) They served up a Christmas feast of turkey, ham and pork with roasted potatoes, carrots and pumpkin.
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Blake stayed busy chasing balloons…
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… and taking photos.
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He took this one!
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Christmas with the Hossacks!

As an Army brat, I lived in many places in the United States and Germany before landing in Kansas for college. Every time my dad delivered the news that we were moving AGAIN, I felt a mixture of emotions – grief (it’s always hard to leave friends and routines), relief (a chance to start over!), fear (what if nobody likes me?), excitement (new people, new adventures), and curiosity (so many unknowns: food, people, weather, school, lifestyle). But I always remember my mother saying, “You’ll see those friends again!” In the military, paths cross again and again.

And so it is with international teaching!

This week, we’re celebrating the holidays with our special friends Amy and Scott Hossack and their awesome little guy, Blake. We worked and played with the Hossacks for four years in Shanghai, so we were thrilled when they decided to spend part of their Christmas break here in Vientiane.

In the taxi from the airport. So excited!
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Playing in my classroom.
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Blake chillin’ on the daybed.
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At the riverfront playground.
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Too shy to ask for a swing, Blake hovers as the school-skippin’ Lao girls SMS their friends.
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Cycling along the Mekong.
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Snack-n-play at Paradise Ice Cream.
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Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah

If you heard blood-curdling screams coming from the direction of Southeast Asia Saturday afternoon, it’s very possible it was the sound of 13 teachers and friends whooping our way through the Nam Lik forest.

Eleven Lao men and women and two foreigners (Regina, from Switzerland, and me) drove about two hours north of Vientiane – the last 7 kilometers on a rippling strip of dusty dips that really doesn’t deserve to be called a road. We arrived at the banks of the Nam Lik River and waited for the guides from Green Discovery, the eco-tourism agency that developed the “Jungle Fly” experience.

Posing.
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Walking down to the river
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They were late, of course. As the Lao participants posed for their requisite photo shoot, Regina and I wandered down to the water, where we were duly entertained by:
• some guys butchering an animal,
• two young girls washing clothes,
• a man unloading a motorcycle from a long-tailed boat,
• a youngster who had caught a squirrel and tied a piece of fishing line around its leg to keep it from running away, and
• a boy who stripped down to his underpants for a swim.

When my friend Lae came down to check out the action, I pointed to the butchers and asked, “What animal do you think that is?” She went over to them and chatted in Lao.
“Is that a goat?”
“No, it’s a cow.”
“Why is it so small?”
“It’s a small cow.”
We were glad they were a bit downstream from the laundry girls, and even gladder when we saw a woman brushing her teeth in the river water at the laundry spot at the end of the day.

The cow parts get hauled away.
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Laundresses.
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The strange Lao squirrel.
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Finally, the Green Discovery guides showed up and loaded us into two long-tailed boats for the short journey upstream to our adventure course. We disembarked at a would-be-peaceful-were-it-not-for-the-giggly-ongoing-fashion-shoot waterside hut, where the guides built a fire and grilled delicious kebabs for our lunch. The lead guide, Mr. Vat, issued each of us a helmet and a bamboo stick to use as a brake on the ziplines.

Off we go.
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Picnic spot.
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Lunch … yum.
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A brake or a weapon?
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He then led us on a 40-minute steep trek into the lush bamboo forest. Regina and I generally stayed quite close to Mr. Vat, asking him questions about the region and the wildlife. Slowly, the Lao group fell further and further behind, but we could always hear their laughter. Occasionally, we paused to let them catch up, and they would slog up the hill dramatically, calling out for a tuk tuk or piggyback ride. Striking poses to illustrate their exhaustion, they shot photos along the entire way, couching all complaints in a smile or a joke.

Grumble in the jungle.
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Beautiful bamboo.
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We arrived at a clearing, where (after taking a few group photos) we rigged up in our harnesses and got a quick lesson on the equipment. Mr. Vat asked for a volunteer to demonstrate the proper ziplining protocol, using a mini-zipline. Mai quickly stepped up for the demo, but then everyone else wanted to give it a whirl, too. Eventually, we wrapped up the practice and filed across the first suspended bridge, excited and nervous.

Our fabulous group (left to right, back row first) – Li, Kham, Lin, Phouk, Addie, Pick, Not, me, Lae, Mai, Regina, Johnny, Keo.
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Bring it on!
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No turning back now.
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Green Discovery wisely built the course with short ziplines at the beginning, so ding-dongs such as ourselves could get over our anxiety and master the bamboo brake before tackling the longer, speedier ones. There was plenty of screaming and even a little crying as we zipped through the forest canopy on cables up to 37 meters (120 feet) high and 180 meters (almost 600 feet) long.

The most harrowing activity of the whole day, in my opinion, came early in the form of a single-cable bridge with no handrails. We gripped ropes that dangled from above, giving the sensation of standing up in a swervy subway as we crossed the tightrope.

Brave Addie!
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Other challenges included a “spider net” that was just what it sounds like; a “U-bridge,” which featured U-shaped cables attached on either side that dipped and swayed when stepped on, nearly sending me into the splits; a few regular suspension bridges, which could trigger a flurry of Lao shrieks with just one or two bounces; and abseiling back down to earth.

Regina makes it look easy.
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Wheeeee!
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“Abseiling” is just a fancy word for clipping a rope to your harness and dropping off a tall platform. The first time I did it, the guide clipped the rope to my front, so I descended in an upright position. The second time, which was at the end of the adventure course, he clipped the rope to my back, so when I stepped backwards off the platform, I immediately lunged forward and descended face-down. I proceeded to “fly” like Peter Pan, dropping slowly to the riverbank in a theatrical conclusion to an exciting day.

I can fly, I can fly, I can fly!
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Lae bails water out of the boat on the way back to our cars.
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A pretty sunset wraps up a fantastic day!
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A few final notes about Green Discovery’s “Jungle Fly”:
• The guides followed their own safety rules, which I found reassuring. (I wish I had a dollar for every divemaster or tour guide I’ve seen who was too cool for safety or tried to show off by taking absurd risks.) The Green Discovery guides kept their carabiners clipped to the safety cables the whole time and always modeled smart behavior on the towering platforms.
• A portion of the tour fee is donated to poverty-alleviation projects in local villages. This helps discourage the wildlife trade and slash-and-burn farming, which is common in this area.
• I want to do it again!

Here Comes Santa Claus, Here Comes Santa Claus

My friend Candice recorded Santa’s entrance at last night’s Christmas party. Played by the school’s tae kwondo instructor, Santa was a hit with kids and adults alike. His vocal inflection was more “ghost” than “Santa,” but he clearly has a big heart.

Before Candice added the speech bubbles, I tried to transcribe his comments, but this is all I got:

Sit dowwwwn! Sit dowwwwn! I have a xxxx. Sit dowwwwn!
I come a mountain! I come a mountain!
This year, have a ice and have a snowwww!
I want to cooooold!
Xxxx
And then I go to ….
Xxx
Merry Christmas (teacher?), happy new year!

I would have sworn he said something about a spaceship.

Have yourself a merry Lao Christmas

Whenever I reminisce about Christmas in Laos, specific images will dance in my head: pink butterflies, a water buffalo in a Santa hat, children doing the limbo, and perhaps best of all, our school’s tae kwondo instructor in the role of Santa.

These images come not from drug-induced dreams but from last night’s VIS Family Christmas Party. School staff members and their families ate, danced, sang karaoke, and enjoyed the spirit of the season. Whether or not they celebrate Christmas, everyone looks forward to the month-long break starting in a week. The end-of-semester feelings of relief, anticipation and joy permeated the crowd.

As a member of the Social Committee, I showed up early at the open-air Long Loerth Restaurant, which was already strung with thousands of twinkly lights. (You know I’m a sucker for twinkly lights.)
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Apparently a wedding had taken place earlier in the week, so rather than take down the pink butterflies, interlocking hearts, vases of fake flowers, blue-and-white balloons, and yellow photo backdrops, we just decorated around them.
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The restaurant featured a spacious garden with two fountains and an odd collection of statuary, which provided a fun play area for the children (who all got Santa hats as party favors).
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The evening started with games for children – musical chairs, limbo, and freeze dance – led by my beautiful friend, Lae (in the long striped dress).
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After dinner, I called all the youngsters back inside and asked, “Guess who’s coming?!” They quickly gathered in front of the stage to wait for Santa’s entrance. Not quite sure where he was, I tried to distract the kids by making them sing “Jingle Bells” and then copying my Santa calls. “Oh, Saaaanta, where aaaare you?” and such.
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Suddenly, Master (hmmm… I don’t know his real name…) appeared at the restaurant’s entrance and dramatically worked his way to his impatient little flock, stopping to give hugs and handshakes and to scoop up and spin unsuspecting spectators. Finally, he reached the stage and began passing out presents. The Social Committee had shopped for all 57 children in attendance, and the adults’ Secret Santa gifts were also under the Christmas tree. Master did little to speed up the process. Each recipient received a sweaty kiss on the cheek, a gentle tae kwondo punch, a surprising hoist under the armpits for a quick toss into the air, or at the very least, a loud announcement of his or her name with an enthusiastic pat on the back.
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Master got a surprise of his own when Nikki strolled to the stage to claim her gift and planted a big kiss on his mouth.
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Lae and I invited everyone to take a Christmas cracker, but Lae didn’t know how to say “cracker” in Lao, so we decided in was “cracKERRRR.”
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Eventually, we unplugged my iPod (which played Christmas music for most of the night) and turned on Lae’s dance party tunes.
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One of my favorite parts of the evening was seeing our school’s security guards, cleaning ladies, gardeners, and handymen out of uniform and surrounded by their beloved families. Greeting their spouses, meeting their children, playing with their babies, I felt the language barrier disappear.

Seriously, who’s to say that pink butterflies don’t have a place at Christmas?

Tony’s Birthmas

Tony’s birthday is December 8. There are several reasons why this is a bad time to have a birthday, especially when you’re a teacher: (a) It’s too close to Christmas, so holiday celebrations often overshadow your big day, and inevitably you get those combo birthday-Christmas presents. (b) It falls right in the middle of the high school exam schedule/reporting, so you’re frantically busy marking tests and writing report card comments. (c) Your friends (also teachers) are feeling exhausted and burnt out and can only think about the upcoming vacation.

Overall, it’s hard to find the time and energy to celebrate TONY. Nevertheless, I enjoy forcing a little birthday cheer into his school-obsessed life every year. He doesn’t seem to mind the timing, so Christmas and birthday traditions have gone hand-in-hand for the last 18 years.

Historically, with a few exceptions, we put up our Christmas tree on Tony’s birthday. This year, we turned it into a little dinner party. I ordered lasagna from another teacher’s maybon, who does some catering on the side, and a chocolate cake from our friend, Moe Moe, the school nurse and resident baker extraordinaire. Nikki made a nice salad and yummy garlic bread.

You may recognize the attendees from previous blog posts: Carol (Canadian science teacher), Nikki (Canadian counselor), Whetu (Kiwi English teacher) and Regina (Swiss German teacher).

As the lasagna heated up in the oven, I shared stories about our Christmas ornaments. The ladies mostly did a good job of feigning interest as they decorated the tree.
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As for the gift giving, we nailed it. Tony received presents that reflect some of his favorite past-times: a DVD of “The Hangover,” gift certificates for a massage and for a local western restaurant, and a waffle maker with a box of waffle mix.

Welcome to Khouvieng Country

This week’s Family Night began with its usual trepidation and ended with us wearing the restaurant’s promotional polo shirts, jumping up and down in our own little mosh pit and singing “It’s My Life” by Bon Jovi with the karaoke microphones.

In our ongoing quest to find a neighborhood joint we can call “our place,” we once again strayed from the familiar, safe comfort food of Vientiane’s western-style restaurants. A few other friends (whom we refer to as the out-of-town cousins à la the Griswolds and Cousin Eddie) joined us for the evening. Carol wouldn’t tell us where we were going, so we all met at our house and car-pooled. Well, there was just one car, so some of us crammed in the car; the others followed on motorbikes.

Carol’s eatery du jour was just off Khouvieng Road, a main artery that runs from our neck of the woods all the way to downtown. We pulled in to Khouvieng Country’s parking area, and the owner immediately came running out. He enthusiastically pumped Carol’s hand, saying, “Hello! I remember you!” She gently pointed out that they’d never met.
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Our attention swiftly turned to the karaoke system, which was belting out “I Can’t Live” by Mariah Carey. Before we could set down our bags, Nikki was already at the front, mic in hand with a small but adoring Lao audience singing along. Her biggest fan, a tipsy Lao man who was friends with the owner, hovered at our table for much of the night, buying us beers and cheering for us to take the stage.
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The restaurant’s décor was typical – lots of wood, garish fake flowers, twinkly lights, murals of traditional Lao landscapes, shiny colorful knick-knacks, etc. Unique features included battery-operated tea lights on the tables and a thatched roof overhanging the stage to create the illusion of a “sala,” the open-air little huts that dot the countryside. The staff was friendly and attentive, clearly amused by us.
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Extended family, clockwise from front left: Courtney, Carol, Tony, Nikki, lovely waitress, Olivier, Jon
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Deterred only momentarily by the all-Lao menu (none of us could read Lao script well enough to decipher it), Carol gave her usual instructions to the friendly owner: Bring us your five best dishes, preferably with no faces, bones or organs. Those turned out to be a green salad, spicy papaya salad, fried rice, barbecued chicken, and tom yam soup. The fried rice was some of the best I’ve had, with shrimp and chunks of some other savory meat I couldn’t identify. The chicken was also tasty, although the “no bones” request was blatantly ignored.

We were all a bit disappointed in the papaya salad, a local specialty that inspires a brutal sense of competition among Lao women, who all think they make it better than anyone else. Once you’ve tried homemade papaya salad prepared by a lady with something to prove, you’re bound to be let down by restaurant fare.

Anyway, it was hard to focus on the food when the guy running the karaoke system was clearly creating a song list tailor-made for the crazy expat crowd. We sounded terrible, but the Lao restaurant patrons wore huge smiles, waved their arms in the air, clapped and sang, sometimes actually getting up from their tables to deliver a microphone and push us toward the stage.

What could be more fun than eating and singing with your friends? Eating and singing in matching shirts! The restaurant owner brought out a pile of promotional polo shirts and passed them around. “Free! Free!” he said, handing out extras. “For your friends!” Tony’s first shirt was skin tight, which was awesome, but the kind owner heard our laughter and brought out a larger size.
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The shirts were like superhero costumes. Suddenly, we all thought we were rock stars, and there was no getting us off the stage. Looking at the photos, I realize now we looked like the Partridge Family.
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At one point, Carol and I pulled an older Lao lady away from her table and made her dance with us. She was a good sport and moved her mouth randomly to suggest she knew the words. There weren’t many people at the restaurant, but everyone seemed to enjoy our ridiculous display of misplaced confidence.

When we wrapped up our Bon Jovi finale, we filed out the door, waving and thanking everyone as if they had paid to see us. Best Family Night ever! Nikki says it was even the most fun she’s had in Laos so far. Khouvieng Country will be hard to top.

Here are a few more shots from our Khouvieng Country concert.

Garden Art update

Since I last blogged about Beng, our night guard/gardener, he has taken his work to a whole new level.

Discarded containers of every ilk still find themselves packed with dirt and clippings, but Beng has a new medium, as well: bamboo. He cuts the bamboo in half lengthwise, creating a natural shallow planter. With a jigsaw, he swirls out ornate finials to accent each end, and then fills the bamboo with flowering plants. For awhile it seemed there was something new and magical in our garden every day!

That’s why I like to think of him as our gARTener. Here are a few recent photos.
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Family Night – Waterside

If you’re driving north on Tha Deua, a main drag that runs parallel to the Mekong River here in Vientiane, and you want to get to our house, just turn right at the sign for Waterside Pub and Restaurant. We’ve been using that landmark for more than a year, but it never occurred to us to actually check it out – until now.

This week it was my turn to pick the Family Night restaurant, and I decided it was about time to visit Waterside. The usual gang (with the addition of Regina, a new German teacher from Switzerland) met at our house at 6:30, and we formed a motorbike convoy to the restaurant. A small Waterside sign indicated where to turn, but Carol thought the thatched-roof-hut-cum-noodle-shop next to the sign WAS the Waterside, so she slowed down and started to park. As if! We drove down the dirt road, dodging a few napping dogs, and turned in to possibly the most surprising Family Night pick so far.

Waterside was a huge venue, complete with its own “Sport Clup” and soccer field.
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Fake palm trees, lots of twinkly lights, bubbling fountains and ponds with pink water lilies created a festive atmosphere. A little stage with dangling faux flower garlands, two tall chairs and microphones suggested the possibility of (a) live music, or (b) karaoke, either of which would have been fine by me.

Only one other table was occupied, and later we deduced it was the restaurant owner and his family. Yet the furniture was new-ish and clean, and the decor was relatively classy. We’re guessing this place is hopping on the weekends.

A young man took our drink order – Beer Lao, what else? Tony declared him to be the least attractive Beer Lao Girl of all the Family Night restaurants.
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Then a sweet woman named Lee approached the table and explained that she was friends with the restaurant owner. “He doesn’t speak English, so I can help,” she said. Good thing! The whole menu was in Lao with no meaningful illustrations.

We put her in charge of ordering, encouraging her to pick five of the best dishes. We tried to express our preference for food free of faces, blood or bones, but she didn’t really understand. She told us her mother was presently on a trip to Toronto, so we hoped she might have some understanding of our western pickiness.
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Before the food arrived, I recognized the first few notes of “Hotel California” and felt the call of the stage. I climbed up one of the tall chairs and sang a few verses into the mic (which was off, much to everyone’s relief).
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Lee’s choices mostly got high marks. Although the portions were tiny, we liked the flavorful deep-fried pork, fried rice, stir-fried vegetables, and whole fish fried with tomatoes and onions. The seaweed soup was less favorably received.
I was sipping the broth when Tony said, “At least eat a potato.”
Carol and Nikki said in unison, “That’s not a potato; it’s tofu.”
“Well, I’m done with that then,” Tony said.
I like tofu, but I wasn’t thrilled with the seaweedy flavor.

Before long, a “band” showed up and played Lao music, which Carol said was out of tune. Sometimes it’s good to be tone deaf (not when you’re trying to learn a language with six distinct tones, though). Tony especially appreciated the duo’s excessive use of chimes to accentuate the sappy nature of their songs.

The verdict? Waterside would be a fun place for a big group to hang out, eat, drink and kick around a soccer ball. Next time, we’ll order more pork and less soup.
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Adventures in Teaching and Travel