For the last 10 years, Tony and I have lived abroad in a disconcerting cloud of ignorance. Lacking fluency in our host country’s language, we miss out on key news items, social discourse on current events, celebrity gossip, and other societal tidbits that make people feel “at home.” I invested countless hours in learning Turkish and Mandarin – and to a lesser degree, Lao – but my local news was still limited to foreigner-oriented magazines and censored English-language newspapers. Here in India, I eagerly subscribed to the local paper, The Times of India, which has the largest circulation of all English-language newspapers in the world. I felt my time as a clueless expat had come to an end … until I started reading.

Vague headlines, unexplained acronyms, “English” words that make no sense to me, Hindi words tossed in for flavor, breaking news without any back story, and assumed familiarity with Indian politicians and Bollywood stars – it all adds up to utter confusion. Here are a few examples.

This teaser was on the front page of last Sunday’s paper:
Creamy layer bar set to be raised?
The National Commission for Backward Classes has proposed raising the bar for creamy layer – from Rs 4.5 lakh income a year to Rs 12 lakh – effectively extending reservation benefits to many more members.
(What is a backward class? What is a creamy layer? What is a lakh? What are reservation benefits? The full story on page 8 only raised more questions. I had to spend a significant amount of time on Wikipedia just to understand that ONE sentence! Spoiler alert: The “creamy layer” has nothing to do with Oreos.)

Another Sunday edition gem:
Swamy to file FIR on black money
Janata Party president Subramanian Swamy on Saturday said he will soon register an FIR with CBI on the issue of black money.
(The article never defines FIR, CBI or black money. At least they explained that Swamy is the president of the Janata Party, which is …?)

This showed up in yesterday’s paper:
BJP councillors in rath yatra mode, MCD business hit
With BJP leader LK Advani’s rath yatra now just a day away from the Capital, the party’s municipal councillors are caught up in preparations for his reception at Ramlila Maidan on Sunday, leaving the MCD’s affairs in disarray, sources say.
(Rather than explaining the acronyms, the story actually throws out a couple more – RP and BSP. What’s “rath yatra” and is it anything like the “wrath of Khan”? I suppose I’ll never know.)

So, it’s not just my head cold or the smog that’s creating such a haze. Upon further reflection, maybe I should abandon efforts to stay informed. Maybe it’s not so important that I “fit in.” Maybe ignorance really is bliss.