SOS – Summer of Stress

For international teachers (well, probably for ALL teachers), summer is a time to relax and recharge, catch up with friends and family, travel and/or find a little stillness. During the school year, we often daydream of lazy days by our lake, biking on the trails, kayaking, finding our zen at yoga classes, playing with the nephews, maybe roadtripping around the region, drinking quality but affordable wine, grilling and chilling, and so on.

By that definition, this summer has been the anti-summer. Sure, we did those things, but not nearly as much as we wanted to, and not nearly with the usual laid-back seasonal spirit.

Every single member of my immediate family is experiencing a major life event this summer: Meg has a 10-month-old baby and is preparing to join her husband in Korea in a couple weeks; Mike retired from the Air Force and just moved with his wife Summer to England; Kate and John have a new baby AND decided to buy my parents house and let them live in the basement apartment; and my parents are moving into the basement AND buying a winter home in Florida. Although Mike isn’t here in Michigan to share his stress in person, the rest of the gang more than made up for it. For now, Megan and her baby, Kate and her whole family, and my parents are all living in the same house. And the stress they’re feeling? I feel it, too. Sigh…

As for Tony and me, we launched a massive renovation of our lake house, which meant we were tethered to it for most of the summer. We couldn’t wander off much because the workers seemed to have hourly questions, to which our answers were usually uninformed and arbitrary but caused us to second-guess ourselves for the rest of the day. (Did we want the bedroom door to open in or out? Did we want an extra light in the hallway to avoid a dark spot? Did we want clear or frosted glass in the bathroom window?) Although we still tried to enjoy our morning coffee on the porch, the construction noise and heavy metal music blaring from the contractors’ radio drowned out the birds. (This morning’s most notable tune was “The Bitch Came Back.”) A makeshift wall separated our living space from the construction zone, but it was far from soundproof. Sometimes we had to stop ourselves mid-sentence (or mid-fight) when we realized the men on the other side of that flimsy plastic sheet could hear everything we said. Perhaps the most stress-inducing part was the mental image of winged money escaping out of our bank account and flitting away into the distance.

We know the remodeled area of our home will be wonderful when it’s finished. Going for long walks around our island in a futile attempt to relax, we have met many neighbors and made some new friends, giving us a sense of optimism about future summers here. We also know the family issues will resolve soon after everyone unpacks and life gets back to normal. Still, we can’t help having a little pity party about our lost summer, compounding our stress with the knowledge that we’re heading back to India and our jobs in just a few days.

That said, the summer wasn’t a total bust here at the lake. Looking back at my photos, I realized we had a few good times.

Flare Night
This annual event includes a big party at our neighbor’s house, followed by everyone lining their lakefront property with road flares and lighting them at 10 p.m. We shook things up a bit by adding glowsticks to the mix.
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Fireworks Night
Lake Orion put on a smashing show this year! During the day, we were happy to have our usual cookout and lake time with the usual guests (geez, I didn’t take any photos of the Grays) and special visitor, Cami.

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Family Tine
As always, I was super excited to spend time with my family, especially the growing gaggle of nephews.

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kayak

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There is ONE big drawback to having little boys at your house all the time.

As the Summer of Stress draws to an end and as I read back over this post (and realize how whiny I sound), I must admit I feel pretty lucky. I have two days left in the States. My goal is to breathe in this fresh air, kiss and cuddle all the little people in my life, and feel grateful for summers off, no matter how chaotic they may be.

Zebu expats in Michigan

On the ride to work every morning in New Delhi, we slow down for zebu, the hump-backed holy cow of India. Locked up at night by their urban owners, they roam in little packs early in the morning, gnoshing on garbage or patches of grass. Imagine our surprise to see some of their relatives, living the high life here in Michigan. We spotted these little guys at the Oakland County Fair petting zoo.

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Start spreading the news … Nico graduates from kindergarten

I know parents everywhere get weepy when their babies start school, but I am still in shock that this little guy …

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… is going into first grade this fall! My first nephew. My baby Nico.

I realize this video ranks up there with the world’s most boring, if not downright painful, experiences for anyone not in love with Nico Jimenez. However, I cranked it out for posterity. Poorly filmed with my phone and quickly edited, it simply serves to remind the future us of how little he once was.

Congratulations, my precious little kindergarten graduate. And thank you, Mrs. Woods, for teaching and taking care of him.

Make way for ducklings!

Jack wasn’t the only new baby at the lake this year.

When Tony and I first got back to Michigan, we spotted this duck chillin’ in one of our front-yard hosta plants.

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We named her Sheila because it sounded funny when we imitated her boyfriend calling her from the lake, “Hey Sheila, c’mon, there’s a big party under the willow tree. Sheila! You used to be so fun! Now all you do is sit around on that nest all day, geez.”

We presumed Sheila was nesting, so I did a little research. I am now an expert on mallard duck nesting behaviors. For example:
* Once mama duck has found a place to nest, she typically lays one egg per day, up to about 10.
* Incubation doesn’t start until she’s done laying eggs. Who knew?
* Once the clutch is complete, incubation lasts about a month, and then all the ducklings hatch around the same time.
* When the babies arrive, mama duck leads them to water, and they all paddle off to a safe source of food.

I also read that Sheila would abandon her nest if things got a little too loud or scary, so we stressed about her for weeks. Our noisy construction project, paired with all the Fourth of July festivities, would have persuaded me to waddle away, but she stayed put.

On July 8, I woke up early and walked out to the dock, where I spotted Sheila and her little brood at the water’s edge.
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Hang in there, Sheila. Don’t let those randy drakes distract you from your parenting duties.

Jack Attack

On July 9, my nephew collection increased by one fuzzy-headed 8.6-pound little bundle of love, John Morton Jimenez aka Jack. Congratulations to mommy Kate and daddy John!
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A few days earlier, I went with Kate to her final ultrasound. I thought her other two boys, Paul and Nico, would be excited to see the baby on the monitor. Instead, they acted like ding dongs and had to sit in time out. By then, poor Jack was crammed in there so tightly we couldn’t really make out many of his features anyway.
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The next day, Megan played hostess for a little baby shower dinner.
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My sisters timed their previous babies without any consideration of my schedule, so I was particularly excited to be in the States for Jack’s arrival. My mom and I visited Kate in the hospital a few hours after she was induced, but there wasn’t much going on, so we went home for a dip in the pool.

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My other sister, Megan, handed off her own baby to me and dashed out, determined to be present at the birth. Later, she reported sprinting down the hallway at the hospital, arriving at Kate’s room seconds too late. From outside the door, she heard Jack’s surprised wail as he entered this world.

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Brothers and cousin, Emma, check out the new baby. Paul wasn’t too sure about this at first, but he has since warmed up to the idea.
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Jack and me. Love.
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Friends-n-Family Plan

My favorite part of summer vacation every year is re-connecting with friends and family. I always head back overseas in August wishing I had time to make one more interstate phone call or entertain one more visitor at the lake or take one more trip to see someone special.

This summer was more chaotic than usual, but we still managed to squeeze in a few meet-ups.

Our first visitor came roaring up the twisty lake road to our house in her new-to-her RV. Jacquelyn popped by Michigan at the start of her summer-long U.S. tour. Read about it on her blog, Teaching and Travelling Around the World. Jacquelyn’s sweet ride included a kitchen, bathroom, beds and lots of little closets. So fun!

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We “always” roadtrip across the border to Stratford, Ontario, for the Shakespeare Festival and fun with the Hossacks. Scott, Amy and Blake entertained us despite some dreary weather (no cycling this year, even though we hauled our bikes all the way there). We stayed at Legacy House B&B and enjoyed a spectacular rendition of “Fiddler on the Roof,” as well as a Shakespeare play neither Tony nor I had seen before, “Measure for Measure.”

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It has become a tradition for Amy and me to pose with this scary Shakespeare statue that we think shoots laser beams out of his eyes.
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Blake brilliantly hypothesized that he could launch this bubble rocket higher if he jumped on it from the tree branch. And one of the things I love most about the Hossacks is that they would never discourage such an experiment.
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The Hossacks live down the road from Stratford in St. Marys, also home to the Canadian Baseball Hall of Fame. We saw George Bell and Tim Raines get inducted and then whack some balls in a “home run derby.”
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We scored these awesome shades at a local restaurant.
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While poking around Stratford’s Art in the Park, I saw a kid who looked familiar. Then my brain took in the whole scene, and I realized it was a family we knew in Laos! Moe Moe was our school nurse at Vientiane International School. Small world!
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During our stay in Stratford, friends from Istanbul – Aylin and Cagatay – drove in from Toronto for a couple hours. We were so grateful they made the trip although we were disappointed we didn’t get to meet their gorgeous little girls.

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On our way back to Michigan, we stopped by London, Ontario, for lunch with another fab family we knew in Shanghai: the Smith-Kellys. Now that we realize how near they are to our lake house, we anticipate plenty of future summer fun!
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Just before crossing the bridge back to the States, we paused for drinks with Stephanie in Sarnia. She and I were first-year teachers in Istanbul, so we shared a lot of tears. Dang it, we forgot to take a photo of our little reunion … we’ll have to do it again next year.

Back in Michigan, we welcomed Cami for the Fourth of July weekend – second year in a row! Again, we feel deeply grateful for friends who go out of their way (and swallow their fear of flying) to hang with us.
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With just a week left to go, I think we’re done meeting up with old friends. For this summer, anyway. See you in 2014?

As for family, well, they deserve a post of their own. Stay tuned.

Love it or List it … or Leave it alone?

I’m newly addicted to the HGTV show “Love It or List It.” A decorator and a Realtor face off to convince people either to remodel and stay in their home or put their house on the market and move. I love it because I’m living it.

In 2009, we bought a summer home in Michigan that had been divided into two living areas so the owner’s adult son could have his own apartment. We decided to let him stay and serve as a caretaker. For legal reasons (turns out our house isn’t ALLOWED to be a duplex), we recently asked him to move. Although we renovated “our” side of the house, we haven’t set foot in “his” side since we bought the house. Let’s just say it needed a lot of TLC. We knew we had a few options:
(1) Seal that part of the house until we could save up enough money to update and renovate.
(2) Avoid the hassle and sell the house.
(3) Give the space a facelift with a coat of paint and new carpet (even though we knew there was surely some wiring, plumbing and HVAC that was last up to code in the 1950s).
(4) Do what we always do and impulsively jump without thinking it through.

We opted for #4.

After perusing Angie’s List and contacting several contractors, we hired DA Home Improvement to tackle the job. Our plan? Rip out the downstairs kitchen and convert it into a garage. Bump out the upstairs to create a space over the new garage with a big bay window and new master bathroom. After hearing some estimates for the work, we scrapped the garage and scaled our project WAY back. Now we’re looking at a downstairs utility room and an upstairs master bedroom/bath.

Originally, we were hoping to finalize all the plans so the contractors could do the work over the winter months, communicating with us in India via email and FaceTime. However, DA said they would put two other jobs on hold to get our work done before we head back to Delhi! With only three weeks to go, we’re cautiously optimistic.

Here are some BEFORE shots.

Everything left of the tree is gutted.
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The kitchen is gone.
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This was a garage in our dream plan, but now it will be a utility room.
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Upstairs, we’ll have a grown-up-sized bedroom. Woo hoo!
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One half bath + one half bath = one master bathroom
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This room was the original construction (with an outhouse in the back yard). It’s well on the way to becoming a spacious closet and bathroom.
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Cross your fingers!
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Wrapping up year 2 in India

Our first year in India was hard, possibly the hardest first year we’ve had in our 12 years overseas. As Bob Hetzel, our outgoing school director, is fond of saying, “Whatever is true about India, the opposite is also true.” That makes it particularly difficult to learn the ropes and settle in to this city that defies all western logic. Add that to the heat, the pollution, the crowds, the chaos.

By the end of our first year, we were feeling marginally better about our decision to move here but still overwhelmingly frustrated. Then a departing teacher, who spent five years in New Delhi, shared this snippet of wisdom: “Your second year will be exponentially better. And your third year will be exponentially better than your second year. And so on. You won’t believe it!”

He was right. Year two really WAS exponentially better than year one. Not perfect, but much much better. I don’t really know WHY, but it was. As I gear up for a Michigan summer, I can honestly say I look forward to coming back to India in the fall.

New Delhi is finally starting to feel like home. We’ve even expanded our family after talking about it for years. We’re going to miss these girls over the summer, but I made a quick video to keep them with me as we travel.

Glamour Shots – Delhi Style

Browsing through the shops in Delhi’s backpacker district, Pahar Ganj, I laughed with my friends Katrina and Nancy at the spangly belly dancing costumes for sale. “We should totally do a photo shoot wearing those outfits at some historical site!” we joked. Somehow that throw-away comment turned into a brilliant plan, which came to fruition last weekend.

The three of us became fast friends as “newbies” at the American Embassy School, and we’re now struggling with the knowledge that Katrina won’t be here after summer break; she’s heading back to the States. There couldn’t be a better going-away gift for this beautiful, elegant lady than Glamour Shots – Delhi Style. In addition, over the last two years, we three felt compelled to stage the clichéd Charlie’s Angels guns-drawn pose every time we spotted a camera. While those shots were all spontaneous, we couldn’t resist actually planning a special culminating picture.

As the day of the photo shoot approached, I tried on my costume. It was completely see-through and not at all flattering.

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“Maybe we should wear our pretty Indian clothes instead,” I suggested. We each have saris, anarkalis or lehengas, which pop with color and better camouflage our flaws. We agreed to pose in our fancy outfits first, and then we’d change into our belly dancing costumes.

Around 7 a.m. Sunday, our make-up artist arrived (late) and went to work on me.

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Yogita had no sense of humor about this experience, or maybe she just wasn’t a morning person. I told her I could do my own mascara, and she commanded me to make my lashes thick. “I’ll try,” I said, “but I only have about four lashes on each eye.” Katrina and Nancy laughed, but Yogita only responded drily, “I know. I saw.”
Katrina was next, then Nancy.

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Finally we were ready to meet up with our photographer, Tim Steadman, who was patiently waiting at the Qutub Minar parking lot. Yogita clumsily banged her make-up suitcase down the stairs until it burst open and spilled her supplies everywhere. Already more than 30 minutes late, we rudely tiptoed over the scattered plastic boxes and brushes to dash out to my car.

Worried my long full skirt would get bunched under the car pedals, I opted to drive in capris. At the Qutub Minar parking lot, I pulled on my skirt and whipped off my pants before we phoned Tim to say we’d arrived. By the time we climbed into his car, it was about 9:45 a.m. and already 108ºF. He drove a short distance and pulled into a quiet road leading to the Mehrauli Archaeological Park, where we ladies had once visited on a walking tour. Check out MEHRAULI ARCHAEOLOGICAL PARK – AN URBAN OASIS. If you don’t feel like reading my old blog post, here’s a paragraph about the spot Tim chose for the day:

Sir Thomas Metcalfe, who was the East India Company’s resident at the Mughal Court, constructed his 19th-century country house right over the 17th-century mausoleum of Muhammad Quli Khan (an attendant to the Mughal emperor Akbar and stepson of Akbar’s wet nurse). Metcalfe’s dining room was apparently directly over Khan’s tomb, and he further embellished the area with pavilions, a dovecote and a waterway to bring visitors to the estate by boat.

Unfortunately, getting there required a bit of walking and climbing of steep steps. This trek was much easier on the aforementioned walking tour in appropriate footwear and sensible clothes. I tottered in my strappy sandals over the lawn and up the broken stone steps, clutching my wadded-up tulle dupata in one sweaty hand and layers of heavy polyester skirt fabric in the other. We took refuge in the shade but couldn’t avoid the scorching breeze that evaporated all the moisture from our eyes and lips.

Katrina’s a natural.
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Lovely Nancy.
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Me “working it.”
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I think we were going for sultry here, but we mostly just look pissed.
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One of my favorites.
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That’s the 12th-century Qutub Minar in the background. Standing on the grounds of Delhi’s “first city” dressed in fancy Indian garb felt kinda magical.
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Unlike Yogita, Tim had a wonderful sense of humor. “Just put one hand on your hip like this,” he would say, striking the pose. “And then stick out your other hip and look off in the distance.” It’s a good thing he knew how to pose us because only Katrina seemed to have a natural flair for modeling. I couldn’t help acting ridiculous, quoting Zoolander and Austin Powers. “Now you’re a lemur!”

We eventually got around to our Charlie’s Angels pose, accentuated with a nice windblown hair effect.

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Not yet ready to wrap it up, we threw in a little Matrix action, too.
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By the time we trudged back to Tim’s car, sweaty and dehydrated, we had lost the motivation to peel off our dresses and stage a redux in the belly dancing costumes. Whew!

Looking at Tim’s photos, we can’t help but notice our saggy baggy flabby bits, but it’s also easy to see the beauty – inside and out. This was a joyous, silly, beauty-filled day, and I felt especially grateful to have such amazing ladies in my life.

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Here’s a video with some of my favorite shots.

Want more? Check out my flickr album, Charlie’s Angels – Delhi Style, with all 160 photos (80 shots in both color and B&W).

Adventures in Teaching and Travel