Flare Night Done Right

“Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” – George Santayana, The Life of Reason, 1905, making an observation about the development of human intelligence.

“Didja hear about those dumb**s newcomers on Bellevue Island who lit their flares too early?” – everyone at Lake Orion, Michigan, July 2010, referring to our bungling of the Flare Night tradition. (See details at https://www.dentsadventure.com/?p=1358)

July 1st was Flare Night. We were determined to do it up right this year. I even insisted on buying an awesome Deluxe Screened Gazebo,” which Tony and I erected early in the day. Piece of cake.

Yeah, Tony did most of the work.

The Deluxe Screened Gazebo was a big hit!

Our neighbors, Kim and David, have property that juts out into the water with perfect views of the red lakerimeter glow, so they throw a big Flare Night party every year. Their home dates to 1901 and captures the spirit of Americana we feel on this Independence Day weekend.

Kim’s Kandy Store was the highlight of the night for the kids.

The rest of us didn’t get the memo about wearing lime green polo shirts. Our neighbor Mark and my dad (right) apparently did.

Unlike last year, we waited until 10 p.m. to light our flares. We had a good condescending laugh at some new residents across the cove whose flares blazed crimson in premature isolation. Dummies. (It’s so nice not to be THOSE people for once.)

John and Tony light our flares.

The view from our front porch.

We popped back over to the neighbor’s peninsula for a quick look at the rest of the lake, but we loved our own little spot so much that we settled back into the Deluxe Screened Gazebo till the sparkling flares burned out.

The paddle boat – an impartial review

Paddle boats … are … stupid.

I’m sorry, but that’s the way I feel about them. Sure, they look like lots of fun. But then you pedal your little legs off out to the middle of the lake and then realize, oh right, you have to pedal BACK TO LAND. But your calves have turned to jell-o and you are about to have a heat stroke and a speedboat just zipped by creating a wake that nearly overturned your lame boat, and now no matter how hard you pedal you just catch air ’cause your boat is still getting whipped around by the waves and the paddle is more often than not NOT in the water.

So imagine my surprise when I returned to America this summer to find my mother had bought – you guessed it – a paddle boat!

Our home’s former owner, Janelle, visited last night and howled with nostalgia over the paddle boat. “Oh my Gawwwwd! We used to have so much fun in our paddle boat!” she screamed. “We’d paddle out with a few beers, me and my girlfriend, and then we’d get stuck out there and have to get towed back. And then they’d tow us too fast and we’d start to go under! It was greeeeeeaaat!”

I’m sure that was rad back in the early 80s, but it’s not the same when you’re no longer 16.

However, being the open-minded person that I am, I allowed my sisters (paddle boat defenders) to take me out for a little cruise. Beer-in-hand, I rode in back with Nico. I’m not too proud to say it was a splashin’ good time.

The nephews get excited at the prospect of a paddle boat ride.

Big strong John dumps the boat into the lake.

A swan family laughs at us.

The crew prepares to launch.

We have a little trouble getting out to sea.

Our lightning-esque speed made it tough for John to catch this shot.

How can you NOT like a boat that makes this boy so happy?

Shop till you drop (or until you waste your entire freakin’ summer vacation)

I don’t know why I’m so behind on blogging about our summer vacation. It’s not like I don’t have any free time. I spend most of it feeding ducks … and shopping online. At least my computer faces the wall behind the windows that face the lake so I can see the water reflected in the computer screen.

Wow, that sounded pretty pathetic.

You know what would be awesome? If you guys would join me in the online shopping joy … mostly because I can earn kickbacks, but also because I want to share the fun. I have subscribed to a few shopping notifications, and I kid you not, I scored some shockingly affordable fabulous finds.

Here are my recommendations. And I must admit that I learned about all these sites from my shopping pimp, CanCan.

Check out Swirl – Here’s what they say about themselves, “It’s a place to buy clothes and accessories at up to 80% off from designers you love and buzz-worthy fashion-world newbies.” I say it’s a fun little collection of cool stuff that you seriously NEED.
To ensure I benefit from your shopping extravaganza, please get there by clicking my link: http://www.swirl.com/invite/theguidehog
Check out Ideeli – This is the shopping site I love the most. They email you with “on sale today” links, and I’ve found some awesome deals on gorgeous designer clothes and shoes.
Again, please use my link: http://www.ideeli.com/invite/dentsadventure
Check out Bluefly – Some of this stuff is crazy expensive ($2,500 for a raincoat? Seriously?), but then you find a swanky sexy AWESOME swimsuit that was originally $150 but you got it on sale for $40. Oh yeah! Run, don’t walk to your nearest keyboard and click here: http://www.bluefly.com/invite/12cb6f7rf

Happy shopping!